post-match analysis

there will be scepticism, but i don't care. i wrote that last poem on tuesday night, typed it up quite late and then clicked the wrong button and failed to post it. various snow and family excuses have kept me offline since then and i've only just noticed my mistake when i came to write this post.


anyway here is a graph comparing my poem writing rate (in green) to my poems required rate (in pink)

and here is a wiggly line showing how my cumulative running totals compared to the pace i should have kept up

despite how bleak it looked at times, quantity was just about sustainable - but what of quality? i reckon there are four or five which count as quite good, seven or eight which rate as embarrassingly poor, which leaves about three-quarters of the output solidly within the realms of mediocrity.

as of right now, the most read poem is number 47 (why? it is not really a good one) and the blog as a whole is only just shy of 500 hits, which is far more than i reasonably expected. thankyou to anyone who read any of this - even if you hated it, the gentle swell of numbers made me feel a tiny bit validated.

for the record, my personal favourite was number 11 and least favourite number 17. why not leave a comment to tell me which you particularly didn't mind or couldn't bear?

Stats - Day 30

poems written = 50

poems written per day = 1.6667

poems remaining = 0

 
with a sigh of relief and an embarrassing sense of achievement i fall across the finish line.

50PoWriMo - L

the hedgehog and the balloon and me and my chip pan



we all have a reason to proceed with caution
we all have a need to be careful
there are myriad troubles we each have our portion
i am informed it's a jungle out there full
of dangers and strangers - of howls growls and rumbles
and reasons you'd better beware. fall
down at your peril for each trip or stumble
may leave you more vulnerable than you supposed
although you may fight you are bound to succumb. al-
though you may be strong you've been too exposed
to the raging contagion to defend yourself
from the vicious, insidious, hideous foes.
that's why someone wise invented health
and safety legislation
to make everyone minimise dangers or else
expose themselves to litigation.

consider the multitudes of tiny
mammals who snuffle through vegetation
of these the hedgehog is most spiny
and thus has more reason than most to take care
for every prong, every prickle and tine he
has responsibility to be aware
(i fear that's clear and not debatable
i think you'll find it's harsh but fair
no matter how much he may hate it all
no matter how he may impugn)
if he must be trusted with an inflatable
you'd better pray for that balloon.

now consider me in my kitchen
half-cut, up late and acting the buffoon
my rumbling stomach may start twitching
and though i should be sound asleep i'd
like something more than a sandwich in
i'm hankering for something deep fried
though i know oven chips are leaner
and though the smoke alarm may beep. pride
cometh before falling into a ravine or
the foolish ways i may expire. when
i trust my cynical demeanour
i'll ignore the lectures of firemen
and any or all advice they're propounding
when any chip pan can inspire yen

each man or beast's a danger to himself and all around him
take care out there for fear is self-compounding



this took much longer than it looks like i put effort into it, but at least the whole thing's over now.
thanks to @sallonoroff and @thetearooms on the twitter whose suggested titles i concatenated so inexpertly

Stats - Day 29

poems written = 49

poems written per day = 1.6897

poems remaining = 1

required poems per day = 1

50PoWriMo - XLIX

breathing / dreaming



       as certain as the winter sun casts
     long shadows in the late afternoon
       as sure as darkness follows
      i'm forever drawing closer to you
breathing deeper than a daydreamer
   you're playing me like an instrument
      not my tune but ours
      the subtle intricacy of duophonic harmony
     only definable in terms of itself
      one iterative vortex
 dreaming of reality




with slightly oblique thanks, once again, to the lovely @Heilewelt

50PoWriMo - XLVIII

allegory



there was a little anchovy
sat on a pizza pie
although he'd love to branch off, he
could neither walk nor fly
nor could he find the words to say
nor could he catch my eye
thus couldn't persuade me to stay
his execution date
he couldn't solve his worries
he was inanimate
and half covered with melted cheese
met his delicious fate

Stats - Day 28

poems written = 47
poems written per day = 1.6786
poems remaining = 3

required poems per day = 1.5

for the first time, my required rate has fallen below my achieved rate - this looks great on the graph (i might post the graph when i've finished)

50PoWriMo - XLVII

sappy lust




i know you know i love you
but i don't think i tell
you often enough
how much i also
"fancy you"
you're cool and smart and funny
and cynical and caring and myriad
other lovable things
but you are also
so sexy
i feel lucky to have you
as my confidante, as my other half
as my best friend
but i also feel
lucky to have you

i love the way you don't believe me
when i tell you that you're gorgeous
   and alluring
      and enthralling
         and foxy
            and stunning
               and bewitching
                  and exquisite
                     and cute
                        and ravishing
                           and delicious
and i'm glad your beautiful body
has got beautiful you inside

50PoWriMo - XLVI

gift



what i do best
i do best
when i do it
for you

Stats - Day 27

poems written = 45
poems written per day = 1.6667
poems remaining = 5

required poems per day = 1.6667



finally back on schedule.

50PowriMo - XLV

comfort food



prematurely wintry
the encroach of the outside world
seems barely held back
by the double glazing
our sleepy huddle
a comforting defiance
our televisual anaesthetic
lends a timeless filter
as the conversation turns
to dinner
i'm reminiscing
about the meal that
in my recollections
was the repeated absolute
of every saturday tea-time
of my childhood
when its hot, filling,
(nutritionally questionable)
embrace sustained my familial lethargy.
as you prepare it for me
i realise i am playing
a different role
in the remake
of the same scene
you made my food
but you were my comfort

50PoWriMo - XLIV

it's my party and i'll sneak off to write a poem about it if i want to



please don't get mad at
my socially inadequate
ways
i'll be the one who stays
on the periphery
conversing vicariously
in introverted analytical silence
allowing the cadence
of the chatter to flow
til i know
that my patient
wait for a vacant
space for a poignant
statement
is over and i'll shoot in
drop something astute in
just enough to make you think i'm contributing
and go back to being the one who lingers
on the fringes

Stats - Day 26

poems written = 43
poems written per day = 1.6538
poems remaining = 7

required poems per day = 1.75

50PoWriMo - XLIII

tidying



there is a chasm
between the way
you are prepared
to live and the way
you are prepared
to let others think
you are prepared
to live which is
bridged by that
special rapid tidy
you perform in those
last few hours
before your guests
are expected - telling
a social lie - like
all the other
pretending
that you're fine

50PoWriMo - XLII

friends don't let friends get "friends" haircuts



it's not selling out
to be more mainstream
than you ever thought you'd end up
when you were seventeen
but if you're not racked with self doubt
when a previously cool head
of hair gets the conformist chop
a part of you is dead





bonus coolpoints for anyone who knows where i stole the title from (most of them taken away if you googled it)

Stats - Day 25

poems written = 41
poems written per day = 1.64

poems remaining = 9
required poems per day = 1.8

50PoWriMo - XLI

why don't you?



being a teacher
the best few hours of my week
but i can't do more

mentors should be wise
skillful, calm and confident
that's not who i am

50PoWriMo - XL

the same joke i make every year




whenever
anyone asks me
what i'm thankful for
i tell them
i'm thankful
that i'm not
american

Stats - Day 24

poems written = 39

poems written per day = 1.6250
poems remaining = 11

required poems per day = 1.8333

50PoWriMo - XXXIX

attest



i sometimes wonder if i should hide
that ten-year-old boy inside
that will always set my heart
racing in the hours before the start
of a test series
but as each one looms i fear his
influence will never fade. we go
deaf to all but the radio
tms soundtracks my every summer day
and somehow away
series elicit a more illicit thrill
finding myself still
awake and duvet-wrapped and half past three
hanging on every ball of commentary
transporting
me to sporting
contests in venues too far to ever visit
no matter how hard the child inside may wish it